What is a dating ban?

Why is it even part of idol culture in South Korea?

Can idols have profitable careers in spite of being openly romantically involved?

This is today’s podcast topic, and we dive deep into the theory of why these bans are a thing and the reality of what they actually accomplish. We also cover past and current dating scandals in the K-idol industry, and finished with a sincere plea for agencies and delulus (more on this later) to stop this mess… please.

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South Korean Idols and dating

For those who may be unfamiliar, K-Pop idols are not allowed to openly date or be in relationships. Those who make the decision to prioritize their love lives risk losing fans, market value, and even their jobs.

This is such a serious issue that entertainment companies/music labels have this as a contract stipulation. In the case of YG entertainment, it’s a five-year dating ban (or until you make enough $$), while for JYP entertainment it expires three years after the idols debut. SM entertainment has a somewhat different policy in that they encourage dating within the company (as it makes it easier for them to be in the know and control of schedules, appearances, and privacy upkeep). J

Why go these lengths to prevent idols from living regular, fulfilling lives? Well, a dating scandal (any news or rumors of someone dating is considered a scandal) can, will, and has cost them fans and more importantly, money.

If you don’t believe us, just ask Luhan, ex-member of EXO-M. His official dating announcement didn’t just break Weibo, but it also made him lose 800,000 “fans” on the spot.

Bye Felicias.

This is the most severe case of what netizens and K-Poppies far and wide have coined as “delulus,” or delusional fans who take things too far in their imagination (because that’s what K-Pop idols sell, and not all of us have our frontal cortexes fully developed when we start stanning these groups…).

We have a quote from an idol himself that we’d love to place here in response:

Scandal, minus Olivia Pope

Here’s the thing: we grew up with boy bands and girl groups in the west, and we were all invested in their dating lives as a reality we all had to face. We could imagine ourselves meeting our favorite singer at an airport and having a love-at-first-sight moment where we’d fall head over heels for each other and immediately become the envy of all our friends and families… but we still knew they were out there in the real world asking some lucky girl for her number. Dating. Maybe hoping they’d break up and write an amazing album after the heartbreak. But again, we all understood that as humans with physical and emotional needs, they were likely to have (or have had) at least one partner, somewhere.

Keeping a partner private (especially when they’re not a celebrity) is completely understandable and respectable. But that’s not what we’re dealing with here.

These girls (because it’s mostly girls lusting after boy bands) are in complete denial. They would rather think their dream idols are virgins or celibate, waiting for them. They don’t even want to imagine them dating. Just watch this minute-long clip of JYP founder and CEO Park Jinyoung interviewing EXO members and asking about what song they’d like to sing to someone they date in the future, only to have the EXO-Ls in the audience completely lose it at the thought:

They will “allow” the thought of them dating MAYBE when they’re in their 50s or heading into retirement homes. This is straight up delusion. And unhealthy.

With South Korean idols, there’s no mention of girlfriends/boyfriends/significant others after they debut.

But you’re telling us that the hottest people in Korea who work out 24/7, dance sexily, and have the most gorgeous faces thanks to their magical skincare routines… are going solo-dolo in life?

Not a chance.

The reality

We understand that idols are made of flesh and bone, and their companies do too. The contracts and clauses are a thing, but there’s a whole system behind closed-doors that enables the secrecy and allows for the fantasy of perpetually single idols to remain intact for most.

But not all.

Here are some of the major dating scandals that have surfaced in the past few years:

• IU – Eunhyuk (2012) (Scandal) 
• Kai – Jennie (Scandal) /F(X) Krystal (this one actually was positively received) 
• Baekhyun – Taeyeon (2014) (Scandal) 
• Heechul – literally everyone (Scandal, every time) 
• Daisy & Yunhyeong (Contradiction: YG said not true, Daisy’s agency said YES! Yikes) 
• Seo Taiji & Lee Ji-Ah – 9 years married and nobody knew until they got divorced! (MESSY!)

Dispatch, the TMZ of South Korea, has dirt on everyone but only selectively drops it publicly. Rumor has it HYBE (BTS’ label) bought them to prevent ANY unwanted content on BTS to leak. And the rest of the labels are probably benefitting from whatever the arrangement is.

Can you imagine TMZ putting on a festival where they get Beyonce, Post Malone, Megan Thee Stallion, Big Sean, Rihanna, etc. to perform and basically represent them on stage? Well, Dispatch did just that with D’Festa, and it literally got every top active group in the mix.

Those forbidden pictures/videos/recordings they have must be BAD for this level of tit for tat.

Labels and TV channels/stations are also rumored to have “dating rooms” where idols can comfortably hang out with each other with no fear of being seen in public.

And to that we say: ew. For some reason, feels dirtier than the thought of a hotel room.

</end rant>

Why are we going off on this today? Because our beloved leadernim Jay B from GOT7 fame (and current H1GHR/independent commitments) just had to have his agency confirm he’s dating a gorgeous YouTuber known as PURE.D. We were over the moon ecstatic to know that he’s happy (and how could he not be? Did the delulus not listen to LOVE.? He’s clearly been in love and, as per usual, ignorance is bliss and turning a blind eye makes more sense to the butthurt crowd…)

We’re both Jay B-biased and yet we COULD NOT BE HAPPIER FOR HIM! He’s a beautiful human with a little quirk and weird to him, and she seems to be a great fit for him. He’s probably off to the military next year, and why shouldn’t he enjoy his last few months as a civilian in his 20s, committed and in love, if that’s what he wants?

We really can’t WAIT until this is completely done away with in South Korean idol culture. Maybe now that there’s a western audience showing some interest, there can be a shift in the dating culture for idols. Their jobs and lives are hard enough, let them live, love, laugh with whomever they want to.

Watch our episode on YouTube, with way more opinions that we didn’t get a chance to cover here!

And we’re rooting a little extra hard for these idols, who decided to prioritize their love lives over careers and said “bye delulus!”

• EXO Chen – married, 2 kids 
• iKON Bobby – married, 1 child
• Jay B – openly dated PURE.D for about a year 
• HyunA and Dawn – dated since 2016, got engaged and broke it off in 2022
• Crush and Joy – dating since August 2021
• Taeyang – married, 1 child